Rees' Pieces: Bullying can make kids hate school

(Originally published February 2006)

I sometimes tell my friends that if they don’t know Jesus Christ when they die, they will end up in my middle school.

I was half joking.

In preparation for an interview with author Jodee Blanco, I gave a quick read to her best selling book, “Please Stop Laughing at Me.”

Her book is the center of Grand Ledge High School’s All-School Author Program. Blanco’s memoir describes her experiences through fifth to 12th grades when she was teased, shunned, and at times physically assaulted by classmates.

Reading the book evoked a swirl of emotions in me — sadness, anger, and even guilt — as I recounted my own experiences in middle school.

There were several counts against me in the social hierarchy of junior high school. I was “the new guy,” having moved back to the area after spending a year in North Carolina. I was notoriously shy. I played clarinet.

In an effort to get noticed, I would make silly jokes. It only resulted in a label. It’s well documented — countless times, in fact — in my yearbook.

“You’re a weirdo.” Or, if I were lucky, “You’re cool, but weird.”

I was the subject of a near constant barrage of teasing. I had my arm broken after being shoved into a wall in gym class.

One day, while walking home, some classmates asked to see my clarinet. Desperate to be liked, I complied. A five-minute game of “keep away” ensued.

Yes, I hated school. How can kids be so cruel?

Blanco offers a theory in this excerpt from her book: “My classmates sense my desperation and amuse themselves by taking advantage of it. They need me ... All they have to do is make everyone see me as an outcast. Then they can say to the popular group, ‘We have a mutual interest. None of us likes Jodee.’ It confirms their social status.”

This couldn’t be true ... could it?

This is where the “guilt” that I spoke of earlier comes into play. In my class, there was this pimple-faced boy with long red hair. A friend and I nicknamed him “Red-head Lez.” The name stuck. He just wanted to be our friend. How could I do such a thing? I was shocked. I was a bully and didn’t even know it.

Bullying won’t end until we educate our children about the long term consequences of how they treat one another.

At Neff and Wacousta elementary schools, there is a pilot program called “High Hopes for No Put-downs,” combining the theme of respect with skill building activities. Every year at Hayes Middle School, students sign a Safe Schools Proclamation, pledging civility towards one another. It’s a good start.

Despite the hellish experiences, the stories of Blanco and I had a happy ending. Other children weren’t nearly as fortunate.

Let’s insure that kids in Grand Ledge schools have a happy ending, too.